Monday, March 20, 2017

Not A Candle When Am Dead.....

She Breathed Fire....
Burning Herself In Search of Light.
Living In Dark, She Kept Her Spirit Alive.
Where Her Wounds Got Deeper & Faith Fainted With Time.

Because She Kept Getting Criticized & Judged For Being Raped.
And One Day She Lost The Battle.

So She Drowned Herself & Ended The Fire,
Leaving A Note Behind.

You Burned Me Everyday When I was Alive,
Don't Burn Me With Your Candles.

.Because I Wanted Justice & Respect While I Was Alive
& Not A Candle When Am Dead

Micro tales- Love is Lost

Hi All,

I am back with the second post of Micro tales.

# Trust Played It's Trick Again, 
    She Lost Her Heart & He Won His Bet.

# She Wanted To Break The Stereotypes.
   He Wanted To Follow The Society Rules.
   Love Lost The Battle.
  & Winner Never Claimed It's Victory.

# Loving A Man Who Love Someone Else.
   She Chose Her Death, Living With A dead.

# All She Wanted Was Love, All She Got Was Lessons.
  & She Kept Collecting Them For Thes Rest of Her Life.

# He Loved Someone Else Perfectly Like They Showed In Movies.
   She Loved Him Imperfectly With Her Broken Heart.
   While One Lived In Past.
    One Hope For A Future.

# They Both Killed Each other.
    One Used Words, The Other Used Silence

# His Guilt Made Him Silent.
   & His Silence Made Her A Writer.

# He Left Her Saying, She Was Characterless.
   She Became One To Prove Him Right.
   & That's How One More Love Story Ended.

# She Stood There Waiting For Him To Say That He Loves Her,
    But He Handed Her An IPill Saying Don't Ruin My Life &
     Left Her In Ruines.

The Last One is In Hindi

Waqt Guzra Kuch Aise, 
 Ki Yaadon Ke Nishaan Bhi Mit Gaye.
 Dafan Ho Gaye Ashkon Ke Saath Gile Bhi,
 Aur Phir Se Hum Ajnabi Ho Gaye.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

It's My Pain, I Will Deal With it My Way

"People will see what they want to see, so never give them an explanation. Do what makes you happy, Do what keeps you Alive and Surely do what kills or suppress your Pain"

6 Years back when my brother died, I know I had responsibilities, I couldn't cry, I had to live for my mother.

Time passed and I did whatever it took to be happy in life and honestly I thought that I have learned the tricks to survive everything. I listened to others tips and at times acted like how people wanted me too.

I was patient, I was working and even though life was not perfect, life was still beautiful. I had Mom, what else I could have asked for?

Her smile would make my day, a hug or a kiss from her would take all my pain away, Nothing felt impossible. I had more reasons to laugh then cry because at the end of the day I knew I have her.

I have the biggest blessing of this world. I had my mom, but one day she was gone. I still remember that day, I kept telling her to hold on and she died in my arms.

Suddenly the world stopped for me. Nothing mattered. I was again at the same point where I was 6 years back, but this time I had no one I wanted to live for, My home was empty where the walls were staring at me and asking me why are you here?

There is no one whom you can call family, this is not your home anymore and I can't tell you how it feels and trust me you won't understand, no one can unless they have felt that pain.

Remember people will always tell you that they understand , that you need to be strong, that there are others who have seen worse than you. Don't listen to them because honestly everyone is different and there pain too, so when people around started telling me all this, I just stopped crying and shut them out.

I pretended to be ok, Because they would never understand my tears. And thus just few days after my Mom's death, I packed my bags and left.

I traveled because honestly I felt better with strangers. And it saved me. I learned to live on my own while travelling. and that's not the only thing I did.

I did whatever it took to survive the pain. right or wrong, I didn't cared. I just wanted to feel alive. I tested myself, I did things beyond my strength.

I have cried hard when no one was around and I laughed harder while I was surrounded with people. At times I even punished myself because I was guilty of being happy.

I have wandered on roads at night, I have traveled without thinking where am going, I have slept in dorm rooms because I could not sleep alone.

I have slept for days and there were days I could not sleep for a minute, I have danced till I dropped, read books, watched videos, went for movies alone, cleaned my home for hours and reshuffled things like crazy,

walked for miles listening to music, survived days on coffee, sat alone for hours doing nothing.

I even dated guys, something I had not done in years, but then I was lonely, So lonely that I wanted someone to be there for me. I wanted someone to make me feel alive. Someone I can talk too.

Six months have passed, and honestly the pain is still there but I Survived, I learned to live with it. though it still hurts, I still get crazy, my brain still stop working, I still cry but I live as well.

And it's not just breathing, I live, I laugh and I take my chances.

I never wanted to write this post but then someone asked me how did I managed to survive everything which  happened in my life?

She was looking for a way to deal with her own pain and I just want to tell her that it's your pain, I can understand it a bit but I can't feel it like you, just like you can't feel mine.

So do whatever it takes to heal yourself, just don't harm yourself and don't care what people will think. those who care about you will understand you and those who don't, well you don't have to think about them.

Life is unpredictable, so grab every chance you get to be happy, Remember you are alive and you deserve happiness.